Heads of lettuce, Jeopardy streaks, and Elon. Too much Elon. Heads of lettuce, Jeopardy! streaks, and Elon. Too much Elon. January 03, 2023 Made in Canada IN THIS ISSUE Estimated read time: 3 min 😜 FOMO 😬 FOMO 🥴 Mo’ FOMO 2022: THE YEAR IN FOMO by Stacey Woods If you’ve read TLDR before (thanks!), you’ve seen the FOMO Index. It’s our way of charting the ups, downs, and upside-downs of the previous week. To say goodbye to 2022, we decided to give the FOMO treatment to the entire year. We hope you like it — and that 2023 turns out to be much less sucky. For all of us. JANUARY 📱 Apple briefly hits US$3 trillion market cap. Wants to thank all the little thumbs out there. Source 🚛 They got a great big convoy! And need to use your bathroom. Truckers clog up downtown Ottawa for 23 days. Source FEBRUARY ⛸️ Report: China asks Russia to hold off war until after Olympics. “You can annex countries anytime. You don’t want to miss the closing ceremonies!” Source 🌲 Take two trees and call me in the morning: doctors allowed to prescribe year-long passes to Canada’s National Parks to improve mental and physical health. Source ⚓️ Putin and his warship fail to heed helpful advice from Ukrainian soldiers. Source The Ukrainians defending Snake Island had a pointed, single-finger response to the Russian warship demanding their surrender. And now they’ve also got a commemorative stamp (above). | Future Publishing/Getty Images MARCH ✋ Will Smith leaves his MIB neuralyzer at home on the one night he thought he wouldn’t need it. Source APRIL 🐦 They’ll throw in the frame! An NFT of the first tweet ever (that previously sold for US$2.9 million) gets a high bid of $6K. Source MAY 🧠 Mattea Roach’s 23-game game winning streak makes her the most-beloved Canadian on Jeopardy since Alex Trebek. Source 🍟 McDonald’s pulls out of Russia. The McFlurries weren’t moving, among other things. Source Many empty McDonald’s stores in Russia and Belarus were filled with Vkusno i Tochkas (above), which means “tasty and that’s it.” | Natalia Kolesnikova/Getty Images 🖼️ The earnest Gen Z activists of Just Stop Oil glue selves to a reproduction of the Last Supper in possible mix-up between fuel and paint. Source JUNE 🥃 Canada and Denmark end 44-year “whisky war” over tiny island. Agree to share custody and buy each other a shot. Source JULY 📶 12 million Canadians forced to simply recall favourite pet memes for nearly a day during the Great Rogers Outage of 2022. Source 🔭 Webb Telescope takes deepest, oldest pictures of universe that it can’t wait to upload to Lensa. Source Nothing against the man in the moon, but the Pillars of Creation (above) are a lot more fun to look at. | Webb Telescope AUGUST 🛍️ Shopaholic Goes Back to the Mall: Shopify stock is down 75% as COVID stimuli, patience with one’s family run out. Source 🚙 Uber becomes cash-flow positive for first time. (UberPool still COVID positive.) Source SEPTEMBER 👑 Millions mourn Queen Elizabeth and watch as Charles takes the throne. Others just going to wait to watch it on The Crown. Source 🎷 Inflation at its worst over the summer before calming back down in the fall like a teenager just back from band camp. Source OCTOBER ⚖️ Alex Jones loses first of three defamation suits totalling more than $2 billion and can no longer say Sandy Hook massacre was a hoax — but can still say Super Male Vitality Drops aren’t. Source 🥬 A head of lettuce outlasts British PM Liz Truss, and might have even had a better tax plan. Source 🚰 Layoffs, boycotts, and overdue rent on Twitter’s offices. Yes, Elon, it’s completely sunk in. Source Some may question Musk’s leadership, but there’s no doubt about his dedication to puns. | Getty Images NOVEMBER 🚨 OMG. WTF SBF?! FTX F’D. Source 💉 Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes to learn true meaning of “blood in, blood out” after being sentenced to 11 years for fraud. Source DECEMBER 🤦 “I like Hitler!” exclaims Kanye West, now known only as “Ye” — until letters Y and E drop him too. Source 🏀 Brittney Griner released from Russian prison after serving 10 months and improving all her cellmates’ layups. Source 🃏 I got the best N’s, the best F’s, the best T’s ... Trump launches classy NFT trading cards. Source Trump’s new NFTs sold out almost as quickly as they stirred up controversy. THOUGHTS ON TODAY’S ISSUE? Love it Good So so This week’s newsletter contributors: Stacey Woods (writer), Ambrose Martos (fact checker), Ciara Rickard (copy editor), Sara Black McCulloch (fact checker), Peter Martin (senior editor), Kat Angus (managing editor), and Devin Friedman (editor-in-chief). Wealthsimple Media Inc. 80 Spadina Ave Suite 400 Toronto, ON, M5V 2J4 Replies to this email address are not monitored. Have questions? Visit our Help Centre or submit a request to our Client Support team. 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